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There's snow over there. I mean seriously, how could I resist?

I have Irish tomorrow. Plenty of various poems and stories to be learning, and at 7 o'clock I still haven't started.

Really need to go study, so this is a super short post.

Got some really bad news yesterday. I'll go into it more on Friday when I have the time.

Until then.

..when this week ends.

Greenday were onto something there I'd say.

Christmas tests tomorrow. I'm fecked. This Patrick Kavanagh stuff is refusing to go into my head. Not so much the general ideas and themes within his poetry, which I actually like, but moreso the techniques he uses to portray this subject matter. I know he consciously used rhyme and alliteration and allusions and all that jazz, but perhaps, just perhaps, he used these because they sounded nice and not because the repeat plosive consonants are actually saying he's lonely and feels separated and isolated from the community? If I entitled a post 'Problems with Back Packs' (note plosive consonants) do you automatically think "Well she's detached from everyone. How sad." I think not.

Not that I'm saying his techniques are just coincidental; clearly they're not. His poetry is too good for that. I'm not a narrow-minded ignorant prick who thinks poetry is a load of rubbish. I just think we'd be better off gaining a really good understanding into what the poetry means and how this is relevant or whatever, instead of going into the teeny tiny minute details. But than again, that's just my humble opinion.

Biology is after English. I really don't know how that's going to go. Our book is a pile of crap, no joke. It doesn't cover half the stuff that's actually asked in the exam. One would learn more from the introductions to each experiment in the Lab Manual book than you do from a chapter in my lovely Biology book, which will remain nameless, for now.

I'm hoping I have a good enough general overview of things to get by in Biology, but we'll have to wait and see how that all turns out. Fingers crossed anyway.

I'm sitting on the couch next to the tree and it's so pretty. The lights are so small, but yet they give such a warm, glowing light to the room. I have a rule of only allowing red and gold decorations on the tree so it's really rich looking. I love it. :)

I also did a bit of a display thing on the mantlepiece. There's a pretty big stone fireplace in this room with a thick, dark wooden ledge, so I put branches of Christmas tree and a few pieces of holly, along with some baubles and pinecones on it, and it complements the tree pretty nicely, even if I do say so myself.

There are still a lot of boxes strewn about the room, which I'll have to organise sometime soon, but there's still a hell of alot of decorations to be put up, and I am kinda busy this week. So maybe someone else would be kind enough to do it for a change. Although, on second thoughts, it probably wouldn't be satisfactory, so I should just do it.

Yes I am picky regarding decorations. I do want the place to look nice..jeez.

Last night was kind of nice. My mother was out and I put up the Christmas tree and played the guitar and uploaded lots of old photos to Facebook.

I got a little distracted when the Christmas lights came out and I decided to throw them over the guitar and take pictures of it. Only the pictures are crap because I had to use a phone and not my proper camera because a teacher has my memory card. (I'd like that back Ms. Begley, thanks.)

Today I really have to study. I have done practically nothing and I have a week of exams coming up. Got the results of our French Christmas aural back yesterday. Eh yeah, got 87%...pretty shit considering it was an ordinary level LC paper. Meh, I hate French anyway so I don't care too much.

First up on Monday is English and Biology. Kinda freaked about having to write 6 pages in 50 mins on Kavanagh, especially taking into account that I know nothing about his poetry. It's been ages since I wrote that one answer on him, and that took long enough considering I had reams of notes surrounding me on his work. We'll survive I'm sure. Also have unseen poetry and a reading comprehension. Unseen poetry = ugh. Reading comprehension = not so bad!

Biology...don't get me started. We haven't covered that many chapters though so I should get that done, and then have a look at exam paper questions, and if I know that it should be ok.

Wish me luck.

The last 'weekend' of the year is here. The last weekend of 2009 that will 'end'. My last 'weekend' being sixteen. Weekend is in inverted commas because when you're not at school, once you're on holidays, the weekends and weeks jumble up into one big week/weekend type thing. Just to explain to ye :)

The only thing is though, that this weekend won't be a very good one. Christmas exams starting Monday and I seriously need to study something. So looks like that'll be it for me for the next few days. Unless I go to town tomorrow. We'll see.

Although I was in last night. We had tickets to White Lies in the Opera House. It was a free GreenSpheres gig, so said we may as well go. We had fake IDs made, but needed to get them laminated. There's this Internet cafe in town that never closes, so we planned on going there to get them done, because Aisling had got IDs done there before. Anyway, after trying to ignore the old, creepy, foreign man, we asked could we get business card size laminating done. He said no, and that it wouldn't work. Shit. Aisling went in then and he was like 'No, it's broken'. So we left, but then saw yer man go out for a smoke, so Aisling RAN back down the street to ask the other guy at the desk, but apparently it was actually broken.

Then I rang 11850 (rip-off : do not use), and asked for laminating places in Cork. The guy on the phone was clueless, and was giving me places in Mallow and various business parks. So eventually I gave up on him. So we decided to head to North Main Street...in all fairness it would be one's first port of call when attempting to break the law. And it was successful! We thought. This internet café had a sign saying the did laminating, but when we went in they told us they'd gotten rid of the machine.

So we went up McCurtain Street. Hannah and Aisling were vanished out of sight (as in they were walking way ahead of us, not that they were dragged down an alleyway) so Liam and I sat outside the Metropole and talked while we waited for the other two to appear. They still hadn't emerged after about quarter of an hour, so then Liam suggested that maybe they'd been raped. We rang them and they said 'We're next'. Whether that was for the laminating or to be raped, I didn't know.

McCurtain Street is one awful street. Christ like, the building across from the Metropole is actually horrific. Above 'Cork Community Church' or what used to be Cork Community Church at least. Seriously, go have a look. In the daytime preferably. Anyway, they came out eventually, and we headed for the Opera House.

I got in grand with my ID and was in the queue in to the actual stage place with Liam...when the security guard came in and was like 'Can you stand out there for a minute?' because they wouldn't let the other two in with all the same IDs so I got pulled out.

To cut a long story short we argued for ages, but eventually gave up and ended up selling our ticket for €20. How bad. So we hung around talking to people for a while, and then went to Tribes with two guys who didn't get in either. So the five of us had chocolate brownies/scones and tea/coke and to be honest, it was still a good night. We had a laugh and was out until half 11 or 12.

Not bad for a school night.

We had a half day today. Caroline's mum kindly dropped us to Hannah's gaff. Hannah and I had Uncle Ben's rice. We made our Christmas wish lists. We had a Rocky bar each. We studied two chapters of Chemistry. Her rents and sister came home after a festive shopping spree. My mum collected me. Thank you, Hannah, for giving me a roof over my head when I have no home. :)

Sometimes you wonder if you've made mistakes. Mistakes only ever matter when they're to do with people. Are you going to miss someone? Have you gotten the completely wrong impression of someone you love? Have you messed up your own life?

Mistakes don't matter if you forgot to put the sugar into the cake mixture. But if you put the cake on a plate that had raw chicken on it just beforehand, that's still not a mistake. It only becomes a mistake when someone eats it.

Tomorrow we've got no school. Woo! I love that we live in a country where the Catholic Church has a ridiculous amount of power. It's wonderful. Tomorrow, while I'm supposed to be attending some form of a religious service, I will more than likely be drinking coffee, playing the guitar, and talking to my friends. All with a nice sprinkle of Internet time. It doesn't sound like too bad a day.


My mind is all over the place.

I feel stressed. It is a mere week until I begin my Christmas exams and I have yet to begin studying. I am freaking out that I am going to do badly, but I'm doing nothing about it. I sit here instead, searching various chords and tabs for whatever song pops into my head and then play it to my heart's content.

Despite the fact that each and every one of my books lies unopened in my bedroom.

This is an extremely worrying state of affairs.

I think I left my motivation behind in my Junior Cert exam centre.

Should go find that...

Making decisions is part of life. Everyday, each one of us makes some decision. What to wear; whether or not to put on make-up; to walk or get the bus; to get an Americano or a Cappucino; to cook dinner from scratch or throw on a pizza; to study Chemistry or Biology; to text back or not to text back. Each of these decisions, in their own little way, is important.

There are other decisions out there, alot more important though. How do you know which is the right way to go? That is, if there is even any correct choice. I had to make a decision yesterday and it was one of those decisions. Whichever route I chose, I knew I would regret my choice. There were pros and cons to both sides and I had to decide what to go with. My reasons for choosing wither were both for wrong reasons, but along with a friend, we made a decision.

I hate the decision we made. I'd have hated the alternative too. It's a catch 22. Wow, what a cliché. But it's the truth.

The only thing I'm scared about, in the aftermath of this decision, is that choosing the other option could have given me even more opportunities. I'm wondering had I chosen the other path, would it have changed my life? The other option would be to work on a project closely related to what I think I want to do with my life, just in a capacity that I don't want. And it's killing me inside to wonder if doing this project would open my eyes to the world and introduce me to people who could make my dream become reality.

Or am I over-analysing everything? Is it really not that big a deal at all? I should be in control of my own destiny. Sound engineering at 17 isn't going to give a life-long career, is it? The uncertainty in my mind will always be there, one way or another, and it's something I have to live with.

That's it.


As I sat in the window of a coffee shop yesterday, a friend made me go through the CHOICE process of decision-making, for the laugh. Here it is, in case you ever require such a system. You should so have listened in JC Religion..

Check out the facts.
Have you understood the influences?
Others can help, seek advice.
In quiet time examine your conscience, ask God for help.
Choose what you think is right.
Evaluate your decision afterwards.

So useful in a multitude of eventualities...